


he wants (everything)

by crescentmoonthemage



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Armitage Hux Has Issues, Kylo Ren Has Issues, M/M, hux doesn't know what he wants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 08:19:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9482552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crescentmoonthemage/pseuds/crescentmoonthemage
Summary: Ren would like to think they were enemies, and Hux would like to think that as well, but the truth is, while Kylo and he argue almost non-stop and Hux swears Kylo destroys things simply to get on his nerves and Hux always feels so hot and bothered while Kylo is around because both of them just rub each other wrong andYeah, there’s not really a but. Hux supposes they are enemies after all. He wants them to stay as enemies.He wants(or, Nightmares from Hux's pov)





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Delila](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Delila).
  * Inspired by [Nightmares](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5553863) by [crescentmoonthemage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crescentmoonthemage/pseuds/crescentmoonthemage). 



> Hello all! CM here! I got a lovely request from Delila a few weeks ago who asked me to write Nightmares from Hux's point of view. I decided that I wanted to do that, so here it is! Enjoy!
> 
> \--CM

he wants

 

and

 

doesn’t know why

 

he wants to rule

 

he wants to command

 

he wants everything

 

\---

 

Armitage Hux isn’t really the sort of man to appreciate beauty, but when the  _ Finalizer  _ is cold and still, the deep recesses of space far beyond the bridge windows call him. It isn’t really a surprise to anyone that hardworking, self-made General Hux, first of his class at the Academy, would want to spend his nights working. And his days working. Honest to god, the staff swears Hux is immortal. Most of them are so afraid of him they simply leave him alone. Yes, he’s doing things far under his job qualifications (honestly, Hux, is tightening bolts really a suitable task for the head of the First Order?), but they know better than to stop him. So when the late night bridge workers see Hux come in one night, they leave without saying a word. When he comes in again the next night, they know not to return.

 

What they don’t know is that while Hux is a freakish workaholic, he doesn’t work at night because he’s far behind. He works at night because the night is peaceful and quiet, the only sound the hum of the engines from far below him. It becomes routine: as soon as the lights switch into night mode, Hux sweeps from his quarters into the bridge and takes out a data tablet, answering communications, running diagnostics, or checking on the progress of the rapidly growing Starkiller. And no one bothers him, because everyone knows not to.

 

At least, mostly everyone. 

 

Hux is at his customary post one night, tapping away at something and taking periodic glances at the nebula outside the glass when the doors to the bridge  _ swish  _ open. Hux doesn’t turn-- probably just a mistake. Then the unmistakable voice of Kylo Ren floods his senses. “It’s rather late, General.” 

 

Hux thanks everything that he covers his surprise well, because he and Ren  _ aren’t friends.  _ They aren’t really… 

 

Well, they aren’t really anything. 

 

Ren would like to think they were enemies, and Hux would like to think that as well, but the truth is, while Kylo and he argue almost  _ non-stop  _ and Hux swears Kylo destroys things simply to get on his nerves and Hux always feels so hot and bothered while Kylo is around because both of them just rub each other wrong and

 

Yeah, there’s not really a but. Hux supposes they are enemies after all. He wants them to stay as enemies.

 

He wants

 

He turns back to his console, making sure to keep his voice level. “Lord Ren. I could say the very same thing to you.”

 

He hears a hitch in Kylo’s breath, or perhaps that’s just the helmet. Either way, Ren’s not leaving and Hux wants to get back to work. “I don’t sleep much,” says Ren, in a moment.

 

Hux measures his reply, not exactly sure what he wants or what Ren wants to hear. “Neither do I,” he replies, smooth as summer silk. “Too much to do.” He hopes this will give Ren the hint, but obviously it does not. Either way, Hux is still not giving Ren the full brunt of his attention-- which he knows Ren  _ craves.  _ He deliberately types a few more commands, not looking at the young Knight, hoping he’ll leave.

 

Kylo does just the opposite. “How close is the project to completion?” he asks. Dear  _ God,  _ is Ren trying to make small talk? Whatever he’s doing, he’s making a nasty fool of himself. 

 

Hux turns to give Ren a sardonic stare. “It would be closer were you not so prone to temper tantrums.”

 

Ren turns his head down and Hux swears he’s pouting. “They’re not temper tantrums,” he says, before doing the predictable Kylo Ren thing and storming out of the bridge. 

 

Hux grins as Ren leaves. “I think that proves my point exactly.”

 

The next day is particularly challenging for Hux. He’s only just managing to stay ahead (four cups of caf will only get one so far when one has slept four hours in the last five days) when he receives word that I-Don’t-Have-Temper-Tantrums-Ren has just destroyed a cell block. He curses under his breath, sends crews to remove Ren and begin repairs. Drinks another cup of caf. Pushes a hand through his hair. 

 

That night he’s almost thankful for the quiet and an end to the chaos that is the  _ Finalizer.  _

 

He’s working late again and concerning some of his senior operatives (dear lord, Mitaka practically looked  _ scared  _ earlier when Hux had sent him to bed and stayed behind. He doesn’t want to know how dark the circles under his eyes have gotten. He’s so off his game, in fact, that he doesn’t hear the door slide open and a dark shadow enter until Ren’s voice is filling the silence with unwelcome. “Do you ever leave the bridge?” asked the knight. 

 

Hux nearly laughs, but for no reason he can name. “Do you ever leave me alone?” he asks, shooting a piercing glare towards the knight and throwing as much vitriol as one running one six (seven? He’s lost count) cups of caf can muster. He blinks at Ren.

 

Ren doesn’t seem cowed, as well the imbecile wouldn’t. “I did,” he points out, and  _ damn it, he’s half right, the bastard.  _ “All day today,”

 

Hux’s wits aren’t as sharp as they usually are, but he still thinks of a response quick enough as to not let Ren know he’s most certainly  _ not _ off his game. “You destroyed an entire cell block with your saber. You didn’t offend me personally, but you did create plenty of issues for me.”

 

Ren crosses his arms. “I was having a bad day.”

Kriff, Hux must really be tired if he’s continuing a conversation with Kylo Ren, of all people. “Aren’t you always?” he asks, less angrily. The unfinished work sits behind him, impatient on the data screen, but for once, Hux isn’t drawn to finishing it. He considers a thought, an irrational and certainly sleep-loss-induced thought, and before the logical side of his brain can butt in and go,  _ Hux, you are a kriffing idiot,  _ he blurts it out. “What’s with the bucket?” he asks. He takes one step forward, without even realizing he’s doing it.

 

Kylo under the godforsaken mask manages to look surprised, if the Knight has such emotions in him. “Do you have a problem with it?” he asks, and Hux suddenly wants to scream  _ YES YES I DO  _ but he doesn’t. He turns back to the console instead, quelling the rage of emotions suddenly inside him.

 

He can’t resist, as he knew he couldn’t. A moment later the logical part of his brain is gone entirely, as if he’s been shot, and he’s taking another fucking step towards Ren.  _ Goddamnit.  _ “What does your face look like, underneath?”  _ You’ve already gone this far, you kriffing idiot. Not much more damage you can do,  _ Hux tells himself.

 

“I prefer not to show anyone,” replies Ren, but there’s something in his voice, usually so iron-hard, that’s slipping, just a bit. Hux’s heart beats, once, out of place. He wills it to continue on schedule as hard as he can.

 

“There’s no one else here,” Hux says, and he thinks he’s glaring again but he’s too tired to care. Then, Ren does the strangest thing-- cocks his head to the side,  _ ever so slightly,  _ before straightening. He shrugs his skinny shoulders and brings up a lazy, gloved hand to unclasp the fasteners, shaking his dark hair out in a cloud. “Satisfactory?” he asks.

 

Hux is aware he’s staring, and swallows hastily, looking away. Somehow, he’d expected Ren to be old, or older, at least. He certainly hadn’t imagined Ren to be devastatingly gorgeous. Haunted eyes, raven hair, doll lips.

 

Hux’s face reddens imperceptibly, and he nods. “ There’s no need to cover your face, Ren. It’s a perfectly good face. Why do you always cover it?”

 

Kylo bites his lip, thinking, and Hux wants to drop dead right then and there. Wishes it. He looks up after an eternity and his dark eyes meet Hux’s, searching. “Good night, Hux,” he says, and before Hux can say anything else, Kylo strides away and Hux is watching the door hiss shut behind him. 

 

Hux’s next day passes, hectic as it always is. There’s no time to sleep, so he’s on his fourteenth (?) cup of caf by the time he’s alone on the bridge. He’s working, but tense. Waiting. For what, he doesn’t know.

 

Light. The wake cycle is beginning. 

 

And Kylo Ren doesn’t come. 

 

Hux is disappointed for some reason he can’t name.

 

He passes Ren in the hallway some time later with Phasma, on the way to oversee the building crew that just arrived. The mask’s back on, though Hux wished it wouldn’t be. He wants another glimpse of the hair,  _ the hair  _ and those dark, dark eyes. He wants. His eyes scan up and down Ren’s black robes for any glimpse of the man underneath, and comes out unlucky. It seems Hux is doomed. 

 

Finally, his body can’t handle the stress, and he gives out. Four hours of sleep in three days isn’t healthy by any means, so he leaves his post early and gets sixteen hours, sleeping through the entire sleep cycle and four hours of waking time. Stretching, he feels like a new man. 

 

The day passes in a blur and Hux knows sleep deprivation isn’t the cause, so  _ why can’t he concentrate? _ Later that morning, he’s summoned to the Supreme Leader. Ren catches him on the way, masked and menacing to everyone but Hux. They fall into step easily, like old friends, and Hux isn’t sure what to make of that. They banter, some amusing thing about Ren’s destructive tendencies, and Hux knows they shouldn’t be doing that. Certainly he shouldn’t be letting their shoulders touch as they stand in front of Snoke. Definitely shouldn’t be standing so close as to that their hands brush, once. And of course, Hux shouldn’t enjoy it. 

 

That night, Ren doesn’t come again. Hux begins to think that whatever was occurring was most certainly a figment of his over-worked brain-- until the night after, when Ren comes back, striding behind Hux and unfastening his mask. Hux smiles. There’s,  _ there’s  _ the cloud of hair, the freckles Hux is pretending not to notice, the delightfully crooked nose, the deep eyes looking so, so conflicted.

 

Inexplicably, Hux wants to know why. Why Ren looks so conflicted. Why Hux wants to know why Ren looks so conflicted. Why Hux is conflicted about wanting to know why Ren looks so conflicted.

 

Before Hux’s brain can conjure up any more permutations of the same sentence he’s been tripping over, Kylo Ren says something. So sudden that Hux nearly misses it, catches it at the last second like an amateur juggler.  He can’t even register what Ren’s truly saying,  _ Your hair’s all wrong,  _ before the Knight’s reaching one tentative hand up, brushing long, slender fingers through Hux’s disheveled locks, smoothing them back into place. Absurdly, the logical part of Hux’s brain shuts off and he leans ever so slightly into Ren’s cool fingers, eyes fluttering shut, hand twitching, fumbling fingers on Ren’s pale cheek--

 

No.  _ No.  _ He  _ can’t  _ do this. Not now. He is nothing if he isn’t wise, and this…

 

This is idiocy.

 

He wants.

 

He wrenches his eyes open, his hand to his side, takes a steps back. With all the vehemence he can muster he spits: “Don’t touch me,” though all he wants to say  _ come back _ . Ren’s eyes fill with something sad, and then something brooding, as he too steps away. The moment is gone. Hux averts his eyes as Ren fastens his mask back into place, slides black gloves over pale, freckled fingers. Something like regret stirs inside Hux. He pushes it aside, swallows. 

 

“You should get some sleep, General,” Ren says, turning away. “The First Order would do poorly with a sleep-deprived leader.” Robes swishing,  the Knight stalks out and the door hisses behind him. 

 

Hux goes to bed. 

 

Ren doesn’t return to the bridge. Every night, Hux lets himself feel a faint glimmer of hope, hope which he extinguishes later in his rooms with friction and shots of Corellian brandy. Finally, on the third day, Ren passes him on the bridge, not looking at him, and Hux’s face goes hot.  __ He catches another glimpse of Ren during another afternoon, stalking the halls in the opposite direction, and when his first instincts aren’t predatory, he goes  _ fuck,  _ because love doesn’t belong to people like him. He wants to fuck Ren sideways, to tie his hair back, strap him down, but he also wants to kiss him, to see him, to understand the enigma that is Kylo Ren. They’ve been rival planets for months, orbiting each other at a distance; perhaps it’s finally time for them to crash into one another. Will the universe explode if they do? Hux isn’t sure, but he knows that he  _ wants.  _

 

After nearly two weeks of self-imposed torture, Hux receives reports that Ren has destroyed a training room. Coincidentally, the night before, Hux had decided his hand wasn’t enough. He goes to find Ren as soon as the sleep cycle starts. 

 

Standing in front of the Knight’s door, he feels a flicker of hesitation. He knocks, lightly, examining his freckled hand against the dark of the door. Stands. Waits. Five seconds pass.

 

The door hisses open. Ren’s standing there, shirtless and unmasked, leaning on one pale arm he’s thrown casually against the doorframe. His hair’s in a loose bun, stray strands hanging in waves framing his long face. He’s wearing his best  _ what the fuck do you want leave me alone you imbecile  _ face when the door slides open, but when he sees Hux standing there his eyes widen to bowls, doll lips falling open in perceptible surprise. He takes his arm from the doorframe, sweeping a lock of stray hair behind his ear. Brown eyes refuse to meet Hux’s, sweep to the floor instead. When he speaks, his voice is flat. “I’m sorry for destroying the training room, there, it’s out, now go away, General.”

 

Hux muses over what to say. Every part of him is pulsing with want. Finally he glances up. Green eyes meet brown. His voice is nearly a whisper. “Your hair’s all wrong.” He reaches up, tentative, setting a cool hand on the side of Ren’s neck. 

 

Ren blinks, eyes lidded and heavy, and his slender fingers are tangling in Hux’s hair, and, god, Hux  _ wants.  _ He reaches forward, jams his lips against Kylo’s doll mouth and it’s not gentle, or neat. There’s teeth. 

 

Kylo closes the door behind them.

 

\----

 

Armitage Hux isn’t the sort of man to appreciate beauty, but the softness of Kylo’s hair at the base of his neck, and the deep pools of his eyes, and his misshapen nose, and 

 

he wants

 

nothing

 

he has 

 

everything

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
